


you're the only one i want to run away with

by dracometria



Category: TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Hanahaki Disease, Happy Ending, Huening Kai-Centric, Light Angst, M/M, OT5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:28:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21808906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dracometria/pseuds/dracometria
Summary: The first flower Huening Kai coughs up is a gardenia. He doesn't need flowers to confirm what he already knows, though.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Huening Kai
Comments: 23
Kudos: 174





	you're the only one i want to run away with

**Author's Note:**

> i was supposed to sleep four hours ago but instead i wrote this 8)  
> this was meant to be a drabble,,,no regrets i love hanahaki aus so much 
> 
> in this hanahaki au  
> -people cough up flowers/flower petals when feelings of unrequited love form  
> -it starts off slow, but catalysts that worsen the feelings of unrequited love makes it worse  
> -flowers represent what you feel/experience subconsciously  
> -surgery can "cure" someone suffering from hanahaki, but memories are often lost and it's said after the surgery people aren't able to love as passionately
> 
> all flower definitions will be in end notes (you may like the flow of the story better if you read the definitions after you finish)

Huening Kai has always thought flowers were pretty when he was younger. He remembers the way his sister and mother would make sure there was always a fresh vase of them in the house. Flowers were good. Flowers meant a happy family, a warm home, a cheerful morning. He thought his family was strong for finding beauty in flowers despite hanahaki. And he thought he was strong, as well.

But when he coughs up the first petal— _from a beautiful gardenia, really_ —he struggles to find that strength.

Like many others, he hides it at first. It’s easy because of how hanahaki progresses slowly before exploding all at once. He still has time to cure himself, and although he’s not optimistic, he still hopes. It’s much better than accepting the alternative. He doesn’t want to invite in that sort of numbness, to forget the existence of his feelings.

_(Even if they were never going to be reciprocated.)_

He holds on to that hope for dear life. Sometimes he sees it in the way Soobin smiles at him, the way they secretly hold on to each other during movies, the way wherever he looks Soobin is always there. 

He hopes and hopes and _hopes_ until one day they’re over at Soobin’s house and he excuses himself to use the restroom and he sees _it._ It’s blue and mostly hidden away by the edge of the sink faucet.

It’s a petal, and Kai knows that nobody in Soobin’s family has hanahaki. 

He doesn’t know what flower it is yet, but he swiftly pockets it. He’ll find out when he gets home. Now it’s a losing race against time, and Kai just knows his days with Soobin are numbered. Or at least, the Soobin he loves.

He’s suddenly very glad that he doesn’t cry easily. He wouldn’t be able to hide his hopelessness if he did. He takes a moment to collect himself, hoping to calm his frenzied thoughts. _Who could it be? Who? It has to be someone from the group right?_ He closes his eyes, going through an internal catalogue of interactions— _who?_ Yeonjun, who’s always teasing him? Beomgyu, his closest friend? Taehyun, who he trusts to talk to when he’s down? 

His gut tells him it’s not Taehyun, he would notice if Soobin liked his best friend. Between Yeonjun and Beomgyu… Kai takes a shaky breath as he runs a hand through his hair. It has to be Yeonjun, right? The way they’re always so physically close. The way Yeonjun is always trying to kiss him. The way Soobin looks up to him and admires him.

Maybe tomorrow, when he’s finished sorting out his feelings, he’ll try to get them together, so Soobin can get better and be with the person he loves. But right now, he just wants to leave. He wants to memorize the person he’s fallen in love with. He needs to document everything now, before he forgets.

He takes a deep breath and walks back out to the living room where they’ve gathered. Almost immediately, he sees Soobin cuddled up to Yeonjun on the couch, and if hearts could physically break, he thinks his just shattered.

“Hyuka?” Taehyun says softly, tugging on his sleeve. “Are you ok?” 

He forces himself to drag his gaze away. “I’m not feeling well,” he says honestly. “I think I’m going to go home.” Taehyun immediately offers him a hug, and Kai gratefully accepts. He thinks he squeezes a little too tightly, because Taehyun frowns when they part. 

“Talk to me later?” Taehyun says, and Kai nods. _Maybe._ He picks up his things and waves goodbye to the rest, plastering a smile that he hopes passes muster.

He doesn’t get much sleep. He’s already started early just in case, but there’s so much about Soobin that he doesn’t want to forget. He doesn’t know exactly what memories the surgery would take. 

Sometimes, it takes everything.

* * *

Hanahaki is barely there, until it happens all at once. 

His breathing problems start that night. 

The flower petal he found in Soobin’s bathroom is a primrose. It means _eternal love._ And Huening Kai doesn’t think he can ever compare to Yeonjun, whom Soobin decided to give his heart to, whom Soobin had been affected enough by to develop hanahaki. 

The morning after finds him coughing up blue petals. He’s almost late to school because it takes him some time to find out which flower it is. 

It’s morning glory.

* * *

He’s careful at school. He passes off his coughing as allergies, even though he’s never had them before. “Some people just develop them late,” he explains, and scientifically, it’s true. 

Whenever he coughs, it’s into his fist, and Taehyun would be proud of how good he gets with his sleight of hand, even though it’s only to make sure nobody sees the petals. He gets really good at coughing with his mouth closed.

He goes through a lot of different flowers. Acacia. Jonquil. Narcissus. Daffodil. He keeps the blue one that he found in Soobin’s bathroom. Now that he knows Soobin has hanahaki, it’s easy to look out for the signs. He sees how Soobin looks guiltily around himself after a fit.

Soobin gets really good with hiding his coughing too. 

* * *

Kai’s family made him promise to tell them if he ever contracted hanahaki. Some people chose to die instead of taking the surgery that would cure them, and Kai understands them, he really does. But he also understands why he shouldn’t. He has a family and four really good friends to live for, even if one of them he really loves and one of them he almost hates. 

_(He has to remind himself it’s not hatred. It’s jealousy. He loves Yeonjun, he really does.)_

So when Kai starts seeing blood mixed in with the petals, he goes straight to his parents. They cry and beg him to tell them _who_ , but he refuses. He doesn’t want them to know, to try to interfere. He thinks he can still make Soobin and Yeonjun work. They’ve been closer than ever before. Kai’s a little bitter because he thinks Yeonjun knows Soobin has hanahaki, from the way Yeonjun handles him like glass sometimes. That would mean Soobin told Yeonjun before anyone else, including him. 

It makes Kai feel brittle.

They schedule the surgery after meeting with the family doctor. He’s prescribed medication to take every day for a month. They won’t stop the petals, nothing ever will until the surgery, but it’ll ease his pain and his coughing for a little bit. He makes his family swear not to tell his friends. 

They find out anyway. It’s hard to hide when it gets to this stage.

Taehyun is the first. Kai thinks he’s suspected for a while, but he doesn’t blame him for taking so long. Kai is _really_ good at hiding things when he needs to. Taehyun is a romantic, and Kai is too so he understands when Taehyun cries. Taehyun wants him to at least try and confess, but Kai would never want Soobin to feel guilty about being the cause for his suffering. Even if Kai ends up forgetting, Soobin never would. 

Huening Kai wants Soobin to be happy. Kai’s happy that at least it’s Yeonjun, because after everything he still loves Yeonjun like a brother. Taehyun makes him tell everyone though, and that was _tough._

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Soobin says sharply, and Kai bites his lip before he can remark how hypocritical he was being. He knows Soobin probably hurts, because Kai usually tells him everything, but just this _once,_ he cannot. Yeonjun looks horrified, and Kai thinks it’s probably from the weight of two of his closest friends contracting the flower disease of unreciprocated love.

Beomgyu is the first one who hugs him. “You’re an idiot,” he says, between tears and frustration. “You should have just told us. We would have understood. We would have tried to _help._ ” 

It’s a social taboo to ask about someone’s beloved. Taehyun asked anyway when he found out. He can tell everyone else doesn’t give a single damn about “social taboo” and the question is on the tip of their tongues, but while he still can, he politely asks everyone to not guess who it is. 

Because it’s a lot less painful this way. 

During movie night, they form a protective circle around him, like if they surround him with enough love maybe he’s able to recover. Kai doesn’t bother to hide his coughing now. They keep the trashcan nearby.

Marigold, yellow tulip, mallow. He’s seen them all before. 

* * *

_Let’s make a spell with your tears_

_So you will never cry again_

* * *

After Taehyun, who’s always been the closest to Kai, Yeonjun is the first one who catches him alone. 

“Hueningie,” he says. He’s trying not to look sad, Kai can tell he’s beating himself up over not being able to help. Kai is certain Yeonjun is the type of person who would try to love anyone if they confessed to him. Unluckily, he’s not the _one._

“Yes, Jjuni-hyung?” 

“If you ever want to tell us, you know we’re here for you.” 

Huening Kai smiles. It’s genuine because he knows they all really do truly care for him. 

“Don’t worry, hyung,” Kai says as he hugs Yeonjun, the person who he’s entrusting Soobin to. “I’ll remember all of you guys at least.” He hopes that’s enough to lead Yeonjun in the other direction. 

* * *

_Rumor is that the hanahaki surgery takes away your ability to ever truly love again._

* * *

Beomgyu is next. He tries to bully the answers out of Kai, even if only half-heartedly. They end up sitting in a cafe to paint. Kai fails hilariously, but Beomgyu keeps on encouraging and supporting him. 

“If you don’t try new things ‘Ning, you’ll never know,” Beomgyu says, and he’s about as subtle as a bear. 

Huening Kai smiles. He’s lucky to have friends who love him so much, who step out of their own comfort zone to try to help him.

* * *

Soobin is last.

They’re cuddled up next to each other on Soobin’s bed. Kai’s almost always tired because of the medicine, and because of his personality, Soobin is the one who babies him the most. Kai does enjoy the attention, but it distracts him from his end goal of getting Soobin together with Yeonjun.

“Kai,” Soobin says, and Soobin is the only one who calls him that apart from his family. 

“Mmm?” he says sleepily. 

“Why did you tell Taehyun and not me?” 

The immediate tension is heavy and hangs over them. Kai sits up, and Soobin follows suit. 

“Don’t I deserve to decide who I tell?” Kai’s voice cracks a little, and Soobin looks so devastated that Kai hurries and tells him the truth. “Taehyunnie found out by himself, anyway. He saw my flowers.” 

His surgery is next week, and Kai decides he still wants some form of closure before he is irreversibly changed as a person. 

“Why didn’t you tell me about yours?” 

Huening Kai can _see_ Soobin panic. “You know?” he stammers, hand flying to cover his mouth. 

“Even if I didn’t, you just confirmed it,” Kai tries to tease, but he ends up coughing. Arbutus this time, he recognizes faintly. This is the first time he’s seen them, and he’s only able to recognize them because he’s memorized the whole damn book. The light-colored petals incriminate him. He’s sure that Soobin has a flower translation book of his own—people who suffer hanahaki typically do—so he hurriedly closes his fist and pockets them. No reason to give him any suspicion.

_It’s said that hanahaki shows your true feelings in the form of flowers._

Kai grimaces. He’s just so tired.

“Taehyun forced me to tell everyone. I won’t do that to you,” Huening Kai said, moving to pat Soobin’s stomach. “But you have to promise me to tell your parents when it gets worse. And,” he tries to smile, but it feels like it doesn’t come out right, “You should try to confess.” 

“I don’t think I can,” Soobin says, and he sounds so broken, and Kai wonders how anyone can sound so defeated and _wrong._ “I don’t want to hurt them by telling them. He’s going through so much right now...and he obviously doesn’t love me.” 

_You idiot,_ Kai wants to scream, _you must be blind to not see the way Yeonjun-hyung looks at you._

But he’s so tired, and even though he coughs up flowers every day, he thinks about the petals in his pockets and somewhere inside himself, finds the strength to think they’re beautiful again. The thought makes him tear up and he wants to be selfish, he loves Soobin so much that he literally was _never going to be the same again._

He loves Soobin so much that he’s letting him go. 

Kai finally cries, and Soobin’s holding him tight, holding him like he can protect him against the world if he really tried—and he can tell Soobin’s crying too, from the way his shoulder feels wet. 

_I love you,_ Kai wants to say, but he’ll never be able to bring himself to say it. 

“I can’t imagine life without you, Kai,” Soobin says between hiccups, and Kai sobs because Soobin _always_ hiccups when he cries, and it’s so many small things together that made Soobin the person he fell in love with. “I’m glad you chose us.” 

Huening Kai would never forgive himself if he forgot Choi Soobin, and the berrirose petals he sees around them gives him some hope that Soobin is considering confessing to his beloved.

_Choose your destiny._

Soobin’s holding Kai’s hands as he cries into them. Kai rubs his back. 

“Soobinie,” he says, and instead of _I love you,_ “Let’s go get some ice cream.” 

* * *

_In those times, when tears come_

_Hold my hand tight, shall we run away?_

* * *

Huening Kai is forcefully shaken awake the next morning. He immediately coughs, and he can hear Beomgyu say “Oh _shit,_ I’m so sorry ‘Ning!” 

Kai blearily opens his eyes as he checks the flowers. Blue violets, nothing new. 

“Who let you in?” he says grumpily. It was the weekend. He should be allowed to sleep in. He tries to close his eyes again when he feels a finger jab his chest, and _ow, ok, that kind of hurt._

“You’re a fucking idiot!” Taehyun shouts, Kai startles awake, because Taehyun _never_ curses. 

“Taehyunnie,” Beomgyu says reprovingly, like he wasn’t just absolutely manhandling Kai a few seconds before. 

“They’re _both_ fucking idiots,” Taehyun grouses, and Kai has never been more confused in his entire life. 

“Huh?”

“Get up. You’re getting out of bed.” Taehyun, who has always been smaller than him, seems to have no problem dragging Kai out from under his covers. 

“Wait, what’s going on?” Kai yelps as Beomgyu shoves a hoodie over him. It’s his favorite blue hoodie, the one that Soobin gifted to him last year. 

“I love you bro, but I’m not gonna put your pants on. Here,” Beomgyu says, and rushes Kai to put on a pair of black sweatpants. 

“ _You,_ ” Taehyun says, pointing a sharp finger at him, “Are going straight to Soobin’s house to confess to him. And he’s going to confess to you. And neither of you will need to have surgery because you idiots _love each other._ ” 

It’s a lot of words to process this early in the morning, and Kai stares dumbly at Taehyun. 

“This is the weirdest dream I’ve ever had,” Kai says truthfully. 

Taehyun and Beomgyu both look at each other before pinching Kai. 

“Ow!” 

“Tell us truthfully,” Taehyun says. “You love Soobin, right?”

“No, I don’t?” Kai stammers, and Beomgyu steps on his foot, causing Kai to yelp again.

“I said _truthfully,_ ” Taehyun repeats. 

Realizing that his friends definitely _knew,_ Kai winces and asks, “How did you find out?” 

Beomgyu holds a flower petal between his fingers. “You know what this is?” 

Huening Kai looks at the petal in confusion. It’s an arbutus flower petal, the same flower— _oh_ —

“You know why I don’t want to confess to him,” Kai says, “It hurts everyone else more in the end.” He still doesn’t understand why his friends are hurrying him to confess like it would change anything for the better. Soobin loves _Yeonjun._

“And this,” Taehyun says softly, and he’s holding a berrirose petal, “Does not mean what you think it means.” Maybe love dumbs the brain. 

“The other two definitions don’t make sense,” Kai insists. “Because Soobin loves _Yeonjun-hyung._ ” 

Beomgyu facepalms. “They’re the same brand of idiot.” 

“I swear that the only person Soobin loves romantically in this entire world is _you,_ Kai Kamal Huening,” Taehyun says, and Kai’s heart is pounding against his ribcage, because there was no way his friends would ever play a joke like this on him. “Now take this mint because you’re gonna kiss him,” Taehyun says very matter-of-factly as he feeds the candy to him.

Kai’s still dazed as they lead him outside his room, and his family is cheering for him as Beomgyu and Taehyun push him out the door. 

This is...really happening? 

The only thing that’s keeping him walking is pure muscle memory. Soobin lives nearby, and Kai’s in front of his house all too soon _(or not soon enough.)_

The door is yanked open and Yeonjun is on the other side. He sees Kai and glowers at him before pulling him into a tight hug. “You two worried me to death,” he says, ruffling his hair. He winks. “Now go get him.” Kai’s unceremoniously pushed into Soobin’s house, and the door slammed shut behind him. 

Kai’s mouth is dry (and minty), but there’s only one way and it’s forward, and he can’t wait any longer so he runs towards Soobin’s room. The door is already ajar, and when Kai steps inside, Soobin is staring at him. 

They blurt out their feelings at the same time. 

“You really don’t like Yeonjun-hyung?” 

“You really don’t like Taehyun?”

“ _What?_ ” they say in unison. 

“Taehyunnie?” Kai repeats, not understanding. 

“You started hanging out with him so much more than me,” Soobin says. “Whenever I saw you two, he was always holding onto your arm or your hand.” 

“That’s because I thought you liked Jjuni-hyung,” Kai says, dumbfounded. “You’re always hugging him or sitting with him.” 

The silence seemed to stretch out endlessly between them. 

Soobin finally laughed helplessly.

“ _You’re the only one I love?_ ” 

“ _I’ll love you forever,_ ” Kai returns.

Soobin starts towards him, and Kai closes the distance. 

Huening Kai is finally where he belongs; their foreheads press together and they can’t help but smile. 

“They’re going to make fun of us for the rest of our life, aren’t they,” Kai says sheepishly. 

Soobin is touched at his choice of words, Kai can tell. 

Kai means it. 

Soobin scrunches his nose. “Wait, they made you take a mint too?” 

Huening Kai laughs, spares the nonsense, and goes straight for it. Soobin makes a muffled sound of surprise when their lips meet before melting into the kiss. 

The hanahaki fades, but their love blooms.

* * *

_Don’t wanna stay, now let’s go_

_When we’re together, we can run across the sky_

* * *

“So… how long are they gonna kiss for?"

**Author's Note:**

> flower language used (taken from wiki) 
> 
> gardenia - you're lovely, secret love, joy, sweet love, good luck  
> primrose - eternal love  
> morning glory - love in vain  
> acacia - secret love  
> jonquil - return my affection  
> narcissus - unrequited love, selfishness  
> daffodil - uncertainty, chivalry, respect or unrequited love, return my affection  
> marigold - pain and grief  
> yellow tulip - hopeless love  
> mallow - consumed by love  
> arbutus - you're the only one i love  
> berrirose - choose your destiny, i won't give up my promise, i'll love you forever  
> (blue) violet - faithfulness
> 
> i hope you enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it! ❤
> 
> any requests/prompts to <https://curiouscat.me/dracometria> ❤⃛ヾ(๑❛ ▿ ◠๑ )


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